Love Me Again (Pinecone Valley Book 1) Read online

  Cam slid him a sideways glance, pinning him with dark eyes. “Sorry. Just trying to take your side. But you have to know when to take your losses, man. Don’t be a dumb ass about it. ”

  Josh interrupted him to let dispatch know of their location.

  “You know who you should date,” he said after Josh replaced the radio handset. “Andy’s sister. The blond-haired one with nice ta-tas.”

  Josh lifted his brows and gave him a sarcastic look. “Andy would have my ass if I went after his sister. He’d have yours, too, if he knew you’d even looked at her.”

  “Andy’s going to have to get over that sooner or later. She’s not a kid. She’s a woman in case he hasn’t noticed, and it’s only a matter of time before someone snags her. If you treated her well, I don’t think Andy would have a problem.”

  Josh snorted. “You seem to forget Andy giving Curtis a bloody nose for whistling at her when she came into the station.”

  Cam laughed. “There is that. Still, maybe you could talk to him first, get his approval. She’d be hot in bed.”

  Josh cussed under his breath and looked out the window. “I’m all for loving the ladies, but I’m not going to disrespect Andy. He’s like a brother to me.” He wasn’t attracted to Paige Pederson anyway. Not with a certain green-eyed brunette constantly haunting his thoughts.

  He’d finally reached the point in his life where he hadn’t thought about Krystal every day. Damn her for coming back. “You know what I really need? I need to figure out a way to send Krystal running to Denver like she’s always wanted.”

  “Krystal, huh?” At Josh’s nod, Cam continued. “I’m sure there’s something.” He paused for a few moments, and then a slow grin drew across his mouth. “You need to flaunt a new girlfriend. Like Andy’s sister. You could get rid of one while you’re bagging another. It’s a win-win.”

  Josh sent Cam a disbelieving look. “You’re an asshole. You know that?”

  He grinned, showing the charming smile that drove women crazy. “Yep. But it works for me, and I don’t plan on stopping.”

  Cam pulled in the back of an open bay at the station, and Josh opened the door. “One day, you’re going to get your ass burned, Cam, my man. Some sweet thing will come along, and you’ll be so pussy-whipped you won’t know which way is up. I look forward to watching you go down.”

  Cam laughed as he exited the vehicle. “It will never happen, bro. Never gonna happen.”

  Josh started to argue, but his attention snagged on Andy’s pretty sister as she left the kitchen area and walked toward the front door of their building. “Paige,” he called out and headed after her.

  She stopped before she reached the door and turned her striking brown eyes in his direction. A warm smile appeared on her lips. If he’d have preferred blondes, he might have gone for her instead of Krystal. “Hey, Josh. How are you doing?”

  He nodded. “I’m good. You?”

  “Good. Except for my idiot brother. I can’t convince Andy to stay out of my damn business. I’m so tired of him treating me like he’s my father and I’m some dumb girl who doesn’t know her own mind. It’s enough to drive me insane.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that.” They all knew Andy and Paige’s past, the way their parents had been killed when they’d been younger and how Andy, at sixteen, had more or less taken care of Paige who’d only been eleven at the time. “Wish I could help you there.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’d give anything. As it is, Dex may never speak to me again.”

  Josh had also heard the stories of the tattooed, pierced boyfriend from Andy, and he had to admit he wouldn’t want a loser hanging out with his sister, either. A version of Cam’s plan popped into his head. Except his idea really would be a win-win if he and Paige could make it work.

  “I’ll make you a deal.” He wasn’t quite sure how she’d take his proposition, but he had to do something. Other than sabotaging Krystal’s work, he couldn’t think of another way to get her to want to leave. Of course, there was always the possibility that he no longer affected her in any way and having Paige on his arm would be useless.

  Still, if Krystal no longer cared, there wouldn’t have been those negative pulses messing up the energy between them. In fact, the familiar electric current wouldn’t have been there at all. “If you help me with a situation, I’ll see what I can do to get Andy to ease up on you.”

  “God love you, Josh. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything you can do, but I’d appreciate someone in my corner.” She smiled, her eyes brightening. “Just the possibility of a solution is the best news I’ve had in forever. Tell me what you need.”

  When he finished, she laughed. “I’m supposed to pretend there’s something hot and heavy between us to scare off your old girlfriend?”

  “Today is the first time I’ve seen her, and already, my life is hell. If she doesn’t leave, I’ll be forced to see her most days. She’s always wanted to get out and see the world, so it’s not like I’m running her out of somewhere she wants to be.”

  “And you’ll work on Andy?” She lifted an interested brow.

  “I will, but you have to promise it’s for a decent, respectable guy. I’m not a control freak like your brother, but I don’t want to see you get hurt, either.”

  “Not for Dex then?” She pouted.

  “From what I hear, he’s a loser, Paige.”

  She shifted her stance, her expression turning annoyed. “Seriously? You guys are all the same. I know exactly what Dex is, an irritation to my brother. A thorn in Andy’s side that he deserves because he won’t back off.”

  A few seconds passed before Josh clued into what she hadn’t said. Then he couldn’t hold back his laugh. “Look at you sticking it to your brother.”

  She folded her arms. “He deserves it. Dex is actually a friend I met at college. Don’t tell Andy he’s studying law.” She grinned. “He’s doing for me what you want me to do for you except for different reasons.”

  Josh scrubbed his jaw, surprised by her tenacity. Andy’s little sister was anything but a pushover. “Obviously, I like the way you think. How’s it working for you?”

  She twisted her lips in disappointed frustration. “Not so well. Andy’s pissed enough, but it’s only made things worse. He has more or less threatened Dex, and Dex is ready to bail. Next thing you know, Andy will have a private investigator and a bodyguard following me.”

  Josh frowned. He needed a plan that would actually work. Still, until he had better options, it couldn’t hurt to try. “I guess I’d better get your brother’s buy-in, too.”

  She shook her head in mock disgust. “If you must. Call me later, and let me know what you need. I’ll do what I can. It’s not like I have anything else fun to occupy my attention.”

  He held out his hand, and she shook it. “It’s a deal.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Krystal glanced up as the outside doors to the E.R. slid open, allowing wisps of late winter air to rush in. Her anxieties over seeing Josh again flared each time someone new came into the building. Luckily, it was only a middle-aged woman.

  For the past three days, since Krystal had known it was likely she’d constantly see him because of their jobs, she’d been on edge. She’d encountered other EMTs from the county, but not him, and she wondered if he avoided her.

  On one hand, she was grateful if that was his intent, but on the other, she wasn’t the damn epidemic flu. They could be civil. They’d once shared an intense, passionate connection. Remnants of their love still anchored in her heart, but it seemed unlikely they’d find their way back to each other.

  She sighed and glanced back to the computer screen to finish entering patient information for the construction worker about to receive stitches in his forearm.

  “I think I’m lost,” said a female voice.

  Krystal shifted her gaze upward to find a beautiful blond woman peering at her with friendly brown eyes. “How may I help you?”

  She gave a frustrated
sigh. “I’m supposed to meet my boyfriend here, but I’m not sure where. He said the E.R., but I came in through the main doors and got turned around. This is the E.R., right?”

  Krystal nodded.

  “I don’t see him.” She glanced around the area. “Maybe you know him? He’s an EMT with the sheriff’s department who comes in here a lot on emergency calls. Josh Vansant?”

  The blonde’s words hit her like a solid fist to her gut. Josh had a girlfriend? She fought to keep her voice steady, her expression passive. “I haven’t seen him this morning.”

  Why wouldn’t he have found someone new? Krystal had let him go years ago. He was sexy and smart. Any girl would feel lucky to have him.

  Except her. She’d pushed him away.

  She blinked a few times to keep the emotion from her eyes as she reminded herself this was what she’d wanted, what she’d chosen. She couldn’t hate the woman standing in front of her.

  “Well, shoot.” The blonde leaned against the counter and looked around again with a disappointed expression. “He said he’d be here.”

  “Maybe you could call him.” Krystal did her best to give a helpful smile before she focused on her computer screen, hoping the woman would leave. Especially if Josh could show up at any time. As much as she couldn’t resent him for replacing her, she couldn’t watch them together, either.

  “Good idea.” The woman turned, her long blond hair swirling about her gray wool coat as she headed for the waiting area. A whiff of seductive perfume trailed in her wake. She pulled out her phone and dialed before she held the device to her ear.

  Of course, she’d be beautiful. Slender and willowy where Krystal had bigger breasts, bigger hips. She’d always wished she could look more like a fashion model, but she’d inherited her mother’s curvy genes.

  Josh had always said he liked curves…maybe he’d changed his mind.

  The woman’s laughter crossed the white tiled floor between them. “You know I forgive you, Josh,” she crooned. “I’ll let you make it up to me later, but only if you do that thing you do. You know the one.”

  The blonde glanced toward Krystal, and she quickly looked away, embarrassed over her intrusive behavior. What the woman said to Josh was none of her business.

  Krystal re-read the screen in front of her. Nothing registered but the vast emptiness consuming her, leaving her aching and hollow. She’d wanted this. Wanted her career more than anything else. Why should she care if Josh found another woman?

  She turned at the sound of movement behind her. Giselle had opened a cupboard and removed a box of exam gloves from inside.

  “Is it okay if I take a quick break?” Krystal asked. “Five minutes.”

  Giselle smiled. “Take ten and get yourself some coffee. You look a bit peaked. You’re not coming down with something are you?”

  “No. It’s just…” She held up a hand. “I’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t look back as she hurried to the employees’ bathroom. She barely had the door shut before her tears broke free. Quietly, they rolled down her cheeks, wreaking their destruction like a silent assassin.

  She worked to gather her strength as she assessed her current emotional state. Was it just an accumulation of too many years of studying and not enough relaxation time? She’d made great strides in her career, but they’d come at a cost. She’d taken up yoga and even meditated sometimes to help with that. Still…

  She’d cried when she’d broken up with Josh, so why all the feelings now?

  Cool water on her wrists helped her to regain control. Nothing but time would fix her blotchy face. Who knew what, if anything, would fix her heart. The reflection in the mirror showed her what she didn’t want to see, what she didn’t want to know.

  She’d been the one to leave Josh in pursuit of her career, but in the back of her mind, she’d always believed he’d still be there for her if she came back. No…when she came back. When she’d created the life and had become the person she’d longed to be. When she’d proven her worth.

  She had wanted him to see the fruition of what she hadn’t been able to explain to him with words.

  But he’d moved on.

  He’d found someone who’d fit in with his life plans the way she never had. The blonde was probably already planning the wedding, picking out colors for the baby’s room.

  He’d have his life, and Krystal would have hers. But they would never be a shared life.

  * * *

  Krystal did her best to clean up the evidence of her breakdown before she headed back to the main desk, but the signs of her tears couldn’t be erased. At least not without a couple of hours for the puffiness to subside, helped by a new round of makeup. She tried to avoid direct eye contact with Giselle, but her co-worker’s sharp intake of breath told her she hadn’t hidden anything.

  “Krystal? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said as she resumed her seat in front of the computer.

  “You are so not fine. Talk to me.”

  She barely knew Giselle. Didn’t feel like baring her soul to a stranger, but she knew she had to impart some sort of explanation. “I’m experiencing the unfortunate side effect of living in a smaller town.”

  Giselle moved to the unoccupied desk chair next to her. “How’s that?”

  “I didn’t know until I started my job here that my old boyfriend works as an EMT for the county.” Didn’t realize she’d face her biggest heartache several times a week, if not more.

  Giselle raised her brows and then slowly nodded. “Ah. I see. Hence the small hiccup your first day in the ER? He was one of the guys who brought in that car accident victim, wasn’t he?”

  “One and the same,” she said, blinking her eyes faster. “His girlfriend was just here looking for him.”

  “Josh or Cam? I was under the impression they were both single and looking. At least that’s what one of the doctors told me when she’d decided I needed a husband and father for my daughter.”

  “Josh.” She released a breath, her tension dissipating now that she’d voiced her pain. “I don’t know how serious he is with his girlfriend, but from the discussion I overheard on the phone, I’m sure they’re sleeping together.”

  “And you still love him.”

  Krystal tried to argue, but Giselle cut her off. “That was a statement, not a question. If you didn’t still love him, it wouldn’t hurt, so don’t try to deny it.”

  “I’ve always loved him.”

  “So he dumped you, and you’re not over it yet. How long has it been?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m the one who broke it off. He wanted to get married. I wanted a career.”

  “Smart girl. I wish I’d been that intelligent. I fell for the whole I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you routine. Now I’m raising a baby on my own while he’s making a new family with his new wife.”

  “See?” Giselle’s vindication bolstered her. “I don’t want to be at the mercy of a man. I want my own power, want to make my own way in the world. Why do so many think that makes me a bad person? Why couldn’t he understand that?”

  “You’re not a bad person. You wanted a career, and he wanted a wife. But he sees it as you chose nursing over him.”

  “That’s not how it was.”

  Giselle raised a brow, her expression tinted with impatience.

  Krystal struggled to make sense. “Okay, I did want the career. This is what I wanted.”

  “You just didn’t want him to be happy without you.”

  Oh, God. That was it. She nodded as tears welled in her eyes.

  “Now you have to watch him with another.”

  “I wasn’t even supposed to be here, but family issues and school loans kept me home.”

  “At least my ex is in another state,” Giselle mumbled as she pulled a tissue from the box on the desk and handed it to her. “Ah, hell, sister. Why is it guys can mess us up so badly?”

  “I don’t know.” She wiped her eyes and sniffe
d, forcing her tears to congeal into a hard lump in her chest. She wouldn’t, couldn’t lose it at work twice in the same day.

  “Look on the bright side. His girlfriend will keep him out of your way, and you can move on with the things you really want out of life.”

  Krystal nodded in agreement though she wasn’t a bit convinced of that fact.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Krystal opened the door to her parents’ house and stepped inside. Scents of pine cleaner mingled with the smell of baking cinnamon, and Krystal knew her mother had been hard at work since before sunrise. She sighed and shook her head. The woman would seriously work herself into an early grave.

  She walked through the quiet house as backbreaking, homespun memories came at her from every angle. Her mom slaving over Thanksgiving dishes while everyone else played games and laughed. Her mother up all night with her sick brother only to get up before dawn to make her father breakfast. Not one complaint.

  Look how well that turned out.

  When she found her mom, she was on her hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor. Her hair frayed from a messy ponytail, her wide hips swaying as she cleaned.

  “Hey, Mom.” Familiar guilt nudged her. She’d tried to help her mother as much as she could growing up, but it always seemed if Krystal took on one chore, her mom would find another and not use the opportunity to rest. She’d finally given up, choosing to spend her time at her friends’ houses instead.

  Her mom pushed stray hairs away from her face and used the countertop to pull herself to her feet. “Krystal, honey. This is a surprise.”

  Her comment heightened her guilt. Innocent words that hinted at the days that had lapsed since she’d visited last. Krystal had returned to Pinecone to help her mom, but other than monitoring her health, she didn’t know what else she could do. “Why don’t you use the mop I gave you and stay off your hands and knees? It’s only going to make your joints hurt worse.” There was no sense mentioning her leaking heart valves because her mom refused to allow that to mess with her quality of life. What life?