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  “What is that for?” she said, indicating the silver tube.

  “Razor gun.” He smiled. “For you.”

  “I’m pretty sure people don’t shoot clams.”

  “It will help you dig them. Just wait and watch.” He picked up the milk jugs and held them out to her. “Carry these, please.”

  She took the plastic jugs, embarrassed to ask what they were for. He gathered the shovel and gun before heading down the stairs. She followed, Apollo nearly knocking her over in his quest to be the first on the beach.

  The four of them made their way toward the water.

  “Clamming should be really good today with the minus tide.” He tapped the wet sand with the pole end of his shovel, walked a little farther and repeated his action. She stayed silent and watched, finished with displaying her ignorance on the subject.

  “I’m looking for shows,” he said, obviously reading her mind. “Small dimples in the sand…like this one.” He dropped his shovel at his feet, before putting both hands on the T-shaped bar at the top of the cylinder. With a rocking, twisting kind of motion, he worked the tube down into the ground until it was deep, then he lifted. Wet clumps of sand fell from the cylinder as he spread the contents across the ground.

  From what she could tell, he’d managed to dig a symmetrical hole, but not much else. Then he leaned forward, reaching into a large pile of sand and pulled out a greenish-brown shell about six inches long. He wiped the dark sand from the shell and held it out like a prize. “There you go. Our first clam.”

  “That’s it? It seems so easy, like we’re cheating. Those poor clams don’t have a chance.”

  “Pretty much.” He dropped the clam into one of the milk jugs before removing the rope from the container. “If you want a little more sport, I’ll show you how to do it the old-fashioned way. But first let’s get these tied around us.”

  She watched his face as he threaded the rope through a few of her belt loops. Stubble peppered his jaw leaving him with a sexy, rugged look. He bent to retrieve her jug and tied it to her waist. She caught his eye when he glanced at her and raised her brows.

  “All good clam diggers keep their bounty close.”

  Her gaze drifted to follow the curve of his lips.

  “Wouldn’t want the ocean to wash away your stash when you aren’t looking.” He jerked the knot tight, bringing her focus back to his eyes.

  “Yes, sir,” she teased.

  He searched her gaze, a strong current of attraction pulling her in. “Are you sassing me?”

  “No, sir.” She smiled, and he gave her a quick kiss laced with hot passion.

  “Your turn.” He handed the clam gun to her, and she was suddenly at a loss.

  “Wait.” It didn’t seem so easy now that she was in control. “What do I do again?” She must seem like an idiot, but it was hard to concentrate with him so close.

  He picked up his stick and tapped the ground. “Look for the shows.”

  “That’s right. The dimples.” She searched the ground near her feet. “Wait, here’s one.” She pointed to the small hole in the sand.

  “Nope. That’s a sand shrimp.”

  She looked at the hole again and then back to Xander. “Seriously? Then how do you tell them apart?”

  “Shows are bigger and not really mounded. Don’t worry. You’ll get it,” he said when she frowned.

  She searched again, looking for a hole that was more flush with the ground. “This one.”

  Xander joined her. “Looks good.”

  For some, silly reason, his approval brought a smile to her face. She held out her hands for the razor gun.

  “Set it down where you think you want to dig, and then lift it to make sure you’re centered. Adjust it if necessary and then push down the gun, kind of rocking it as you go deeper in the sand.”

  “Go deeper?” She couldn’t resist the tease.

  He rolled his eyes, but she caught the glint in his eye. “Let’s have some focus here.”

  She checked her target and then pushed. The gun didn’t go into the sand as easily as he’d made it seem.

  “Put your weight into it and twist it a bit.”

  She gave it an extra shove, twisting and rocking to get it into the ground.

  “Now place your thumb over that hole in the top and pull the gun out.”

  It came out of the sand a lot easier than it had gone in. She mimicked what Xander had done earlier and spread the contents on the sand.

  “Right there.” He pointed to one of the larger clumps, and she picked it up. Sure enough, it had substance and didn’t crumble in her fingers. She brushed off the sand, more than happy with her find. “I did it! I got one!”

  Stormy and Apollo picked up on her excitement and began barking.

  “You’re an official clammer now.”

  She put the clam in her bucket and smiled, a peaceful happiness settling over her. “Thank you for this. Being here with you has been…amazing.”

  Xander pulled Nicole into his arms, afraid of the feeling welling inside him. “No. Thank you.” He could hardly believe she was the daughter of the man who’d been so instrumental in his father’s death. He had to tell her. Had to come clean about why he’d entered her life. She would understand. She hated her father as much or more than he did.

  But he couldn’t tell her yet. He didn’t want to take the chance of ruining their weekend. She deserved this break from life, and he intended to make it as perfect as possible. Besides, the more he pampered her, the more likely she’d be to realize how much he’d come to care for her, and the more likely she’d forgive him.

  God, he prayed she’d forgive him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A few hours later, Xander shared a blanket with Nicole on the beach, a low fire crackling in front of them. The sun mirrored its golden opulence on the waters of the Pacific giving them a spectacular sunset. He hadn’t been able to shake the thought that he’d lose Nicole once he confessed to her.

  “A second night of your delicious cooking. Those fried clams were to die for.” She slid her foot across the soft, white sand and nudged his shoe. “I have to admit, you’re much better than I gave you credit for.”

  He kept his head bowed toward the fire that whipped with the ocean winds, but smiled. “Told you so.” He lifted his gaze to her, his lips turning somber. “Promise me you won’t forget that.”

  “Of course, I won’t. As long as you promise me it won’t be the one and only time you cook clams for me.”

  “Definitely not.” He prayed she’d feel the same later on.

  She scooted closer to him on the sand, taking his hand. The feel of her fingers intertwined with his was a source of comfort and fear. He couldn’t lose her. Not now.

  The fire’s embers twinkled and glowed, with smoky snaps and crackles. She tilted her face toward his, capturing his gaze. “Do you realize you have this way of making everything sound like it’s so final, like it’s the last time it will ever happen?”

  He stilled, a quick flash of pain tearing through him.

  Concern filled her eyes, and he was sure his expression must have given him away. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

  He paused for a moment, studying her with a discriminating gaze. He wanted to open up, but it was so damn hard. His friends would call him insane for trusting her, but his heart told him otherwise. He had to go with his instincts. “It’s an issue I’ve had since my father died.” He cleared his throat. “Since he took his life.”

  She widened her eyes in shock. “Oh, God, Xander. I didn’t realize he’d died that way.” She squeezed his hand. “I can’t imagine the pain you must have endured. No wonder you have issues with him. I’m so sorry.”

  “You lost your parents, too.”

  “Not the same thing. You loved your dad.”

  He nodded, a deep ache cutting off his words.

  She wrapped her arms around him, snuggling against his chest.

  “He was swindled out of
a lot of money. I guess he couldn’t look himself in the eye after that.”

  “That’s terrible. Why do people think it’s okay to take advantage of others? Can’t they see the damage they cause?”

  Her reply eased his stress. He’d known in his heart she was a good person. Talking to her about his dad also lessened the weight of guilt he carried. “I think he tried to tell me…before it happened. I always wonder if I could have stopped him if I’d been paying attention.”

  Compassion flooded her features. “No, Xander. No.” She shook her head. “You can’t think like that. It will only hurt you, and it won’t bring him back.”

  He exhaled. “It’s hard not to.” He stroked his fingers across the soft skin on the inside of her wrist.

  “Go easy on yourself. You’re a wonderful guy. A wonderful son, I’m sure.” She turned, kissing him softly on the cheek.

  * * *

  Nicole and Xander snuggled for a while, listening to the surf, watching the sun go down. There was much more to him than she’d first realized. He always seemed to be there for her, giving, making sure she was okay. All the while, deep inside, he’d needed someone, too. Someone to love him, someone to tell him things would be okay.

  No one got out of this world unscathed, it seemed. She’d certainly had her issues during her childhood, but life was okay. Good now that Xander was around. Hopefully, she’d give him the same comfort he brought to her.

  She shifted, planting a warm kiss on his lips as a way of saying thank you.

  He trailed his fingers up her arm, finding the sensitive area below her ear and caressing her. He buried his nose in her hair.

  “I don’t know if Stormy and Apollo will forgive us for going to the beach and leaving them locked in the house this long.” She tried to keep her voice steady as he kissed her ear. Gone was the sadness they’d shared earlier, burned away by the sparks he generated inside her.

  “They’ll get over it.” He pushed his head against hers until she tilted her head, giving him access to her neck.

  She gasped as his teeth grazed her skin. His breath was warm against her neck. He twisted, wrapping an arm around her back, lowering her to the blanket. She ended up trapped beneath his strong body, one of his legs snuggled between hers, the fire at his back.

  “I keep forgetting to tell you my good news,” he whispered, his enticing mouth merely an inch from hers.

  She lifted, capturing his bottom lip with her mouth, giving him a kiss as hot as the center of her core. All he had to do was look at her a certain way, and she wanted him.

  “You keep doing that, and I’ll forget again.”

  She smiled, loving that she affected him the same way he did her. “Tell me quick then because I want another taste of you.”

  He closed his eyes for a brief moment, as though he struggled to control himself. “I found a job for you, if you want it.”

  The fiery haze that colored her world stepped aside. “What? Really? Where?”

  The rumble of his laugh vibrated through her chest, reminding her how close their bodies were. “That job at my friend’s bar. He is still looking for someone, and he said he’d be happy to give you a shot.”

  “Does he…know about me?” How did she describe the scarlet letter that had been forced upon her?

  “He does, but he trusts my judgment. I vouched for you, and that was good enough for him.”

  She couldn’t contain the happiness that bubbled from within. She grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him forward for a big kiss. “Thank you so much. Knowing that you believe in me makes the rest of this nightmare tolerable.” She kissed him again.

  “You’re welcome.” He covered her lips in a slower kiss that quickly caught fire. He possessed her mouth with an expertise that left her shaking.

  “Xander,” she whispered.

  “What?” he said against her lips.

  “I shouldn’t want you this much, but I do.”

  With slow, deliberate movements, he unzipped her hoodie and slipped his hand beneath her t-shirt, trailing a heated path up her stomach. “Why not?”

  A flood of warmth rushed to her core as his fingers found first her bra, which he pushed aside, and then a puckered nipple. “Because.” She searched through jumbled thoughts, trying to remember if she actually had a reason.

  He flicked her nipple with his thumb, sending a tremble through her. “Why not?” he asked again as he slid her shirt up her belly, the rush of wind cool against her skin.

  When she realized he’d exposed her breasts to anyone who might pass, she opened her mouth to protest, but the second he sucked a nipple into the warm recesses of his mouth, the words morphed into a gasp. He palmed her other breast, pinching her nipple, sending rushes of shivers through her.

  “We’re on a public beach, Xander,” she finally managed to say. The fire was bright enough people would see them if they got too close.

  “I know,” he whispered in her ear before he nibbled on her lobe.

  “Someone will see us.” The sensible part of her voiced her opinion, but she’d never admit there was a secret side that loved the danger of possibly getting caught.

  He lifted away, trapping her gaze in his. “Are you always such a good girl?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

  He dipped his head toward hers for another searing kiss, and she fisted his hair, more turned on by their risky behavior. He pulled the edge of the large quilt over them, cocooning them in their own little, warm world.

  “No one’s going to come this far south on the beach tonight.”

  “No?” she whispered and bit his lip.

  His kiss turned savage, leaving her gasping.

  “The fire is low,” he said when he let her breathe again. He slid his hand down to the button on her jeans and released it.

  She inhaled as he lowered her zipper.

  “And you are mine.” He wrestled her jeans until she was free of them.

  Even though the blanket protected her from view, her emotions ran like wild, untamed horses.

  He quickly pushed her panties down her legs, and then slowly trailed his fingers up her thighs. “Your skin is very soft.”

  She couldn’t answer. She could barely breathe.

  Her muscles tensed as he slid a finger between her folds, and when he touched her sensitive bud, she jerked beneath him.

  He hissed a breath. “I don’t deserve you.”

  How could he say that? She pulled his face toward hers for a searing kiss. “Of course you do. We do. We deserve this.”

  She undid his jeans, finding and stroking his silky, hard length. “I love this. I love making love with you.”

  “Me, too.” He helped her remove his jeans, fumbling with a condom from his wallet. When it was in place, he settled his weight on top of her, his thighs spreading hers until he was between them, the length of him hard against her.

  He pressed until he was an inch inside her, the sensation of him slowly filling her an excruciating pleasure. She inhaled, wrapping her legs around him. “You feel so good.”

  He slid in farther, and she arched, desperate to have all of him. She gripped her nails into his backside. “Don’t keep teasing me.”

  “I’m yours,” he whispered into her ear.

  She couldn’t stop her cry of relief as he drove into her, filling her until she thought she might explode. She held the edge of the quilt to keep it from slipping as he made love to her with the fervor of a possessed man.

  There was no tenderness tonight. Only a wild, violent need that had to be filled. Hers and his. Her mind blurred, and they were no longer on a beach. Her focus narrowed to the inferno where they became as one. Everything was heat and friction and need.

  As her passion reached the summit, she gripped his back, knowing her nails had buried into his skin, and cried his name against his shoulder. Fierce shudders tore through her, and all she could do was hold on.

  When the worst of the haze faded and she relaxed, Xander’s deep
voice rumbled in her ear. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Words would not form, so she kissed him instead, and he slowly began to move inside her again. Her soft, pliant muscles accepted him with ease as hot, aching need rekindled.

  When she’d climaxed two more times, and he’d finally spent himself, he tried to roll off her.

  She gripped him tightly, not letting him slip from inside her. “Don’t go.”

  “It’s not exactly working any longer.”

  “I don’t care. I like feeling you there.” She loved the weight of his body, the sensation of him buried inside her.

  He laughed and pulled away. “Trust me. There’s plenty more of where that came from. Just give me some time.”

  She pouted, but allowed him to roll and pull her to his chest.

  “That was…” He blew out a breath. “One of a kind. You got over your public shyness pretty fast.”

  She grinned, knowing he couldn’t see. “You drove me out of my sane mind. It’s all your fault.”

  “Uh-huh. I think you enjoyed that as much as I did.”

  “It must be the ocean air then.”

  “Excuse me, folks.”

  The deep voice of a stranger immobilized her.

  Xander lowered the edge of the quilt, but she refused to look at who had come upon them.

  “Yes, sir?” Xander answered as a flashlight flickered over their engaged bodies.

  “You kids are out late, aren’t you?”

  Nicole grimaced, recognizing the voice of authority. And they were anything but kids.

  “Uh…” Xander seemed at a loss on how to answer as well.

  “Xander? Xander Secrist? Is that you?”

  Xander shifted, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the flashlight. “Hugh?” Xander laughed. “God, it is you.”

  “Shit. I can’t believe I busted you—”

  Xander cleared his throat, interrupting whatever his acquaintance had been about to say.

  “Sorry, miss.”

  “It’s alright,” she mumbled against Xander’s chest, wondering if the man had any social skills and could recognize how awkward things were at the moment.